New Becomings

4am again, Attempting to explain to myself what the silence is saying...  Energy streams through every pore, and I can feel the Field, almost tangibly - I t seems like the torus is larger than it was, or at least I sense it more. It once felt like an aura about a foot around my body, yet now an infinite awareness that needs grounding. If not, it will just keep flying outward and forging inward with no real result, nothing 'useful' to gain except a momentum into and out of nothingness and all.  But, the expectation of usefulness is an old paradigm based on lack. Like, what's the point of doing anything unless it produces something worthy of knowing or creating? And then, what to do with that knowledge or creation? A continuous loop of doing/getting/using/discarding on the path to somewhere else... It's a disease. The narcissists of world dominance have convinced most of us that unnecessary labour towards unlimited growth is a thing. I stopped trying to convince myself th...

  As a writer, have you ever come to an infinite point where you feel that no combination of words can adequately convey your ideas? In the past, as I experimented with different forms of writing, there was a sense of being comfortable in whatever snippets I could muster. It didn't really matter if anything made complete sense to me or anyone, or not. That was fine. Then I got on a stream-of-consciousness roll for a while, starting with seemingly fully formed concepts and an outpouring of words I could edit later. It was great, way too many pages though, and I couldn't format it into a logical sequence, no matter how I tried. It became overwhelming. (I don't think in words or images, that's why writing or talking is helpful to define what I'm actually thinking or feeling, however limited and incomplete the communication may be) But now, it's nearly impossible to get any one idea out... It's not as though I've hit a wall or have some block, it's more ...

  We've been sold the idea that caretaking and homemaking are for the less ambitious folks in our society; those who don't have the means or wherewithal for 'real success' - yet it is the very nature of homemaking/caregiving that creates environments everyone can thrive in. When comfort and needs at home are met with the love and commitment of a caretaker, the family becomes whole (this includes chosen families, not just traditional ones), the community prospers, and society progresses; as those who are nurtured outshine those who are not. Outsourcing the essential elements of homemaking creates a commodification of these roles broken down into unemotional categories of cooking, cleaning, organizing, child-rearing, and active empathy - jobs that can be done by anyone needing to work for low wages. These roles are seen as boring and unadventurous, left to the supposed weakest-minded of society, because they're so simple that anyone could do it. But not everyone can d...

  We live on a spectrum between nihilism and absolutism - between emptiness and spiritual bypass - between disconnection and certainty - between existential collapse and dissociation from life...  Balance equals coherence  in an age that mistakes intensity for clarity. When systems, individual or social, lose coherence, they default to extremes.  Across politics, culture, religion, and personal identity, worldviews have hardened into poles. Certainty has become a virtue. Ambivalence is treated as weakness. To stand firmly on one side feels safer than to remain in the unsettled middle, where questions linger and complexity refuses to resolve itself. This polarization is not a sign of collective strength, fighting for supreme dominance. It is a symptom of  widespread dysregulation . And this is why opposing camps often resemble each other more than they realize - they share the same dysregulated system, simply expressing opposite poles. Extremes offer relief ...

  When a woman's response/reaction to deep disrespect becomes a problem for those around her - there's a much bigger issue.  We're not talking about unintentionally hurtful remarks/actions or drunken outbursts with the heat of emotion, we're talking deliberate deceptions that feel like a slow death by a thousand cuts. The mind can't comprehend it, the heart is bewildered, broken, and the nervous system is on constant alert.  I've always been pretty good at bringing calm back into my being through rhythmic breathing, meditation, and stream-of-consciousness writing... these things have barely scratched the surface over the past few months. I took a much needed break from social media, unfriended a bunch of people, and visited with those who've known my soul for eons. I cried the kind of tears that needed to escape, else they'd drown out the light. I lost trust in everybody around me. There are a number of peer-reviewed studies that suggest emotional trauma...

 Though people profess to admire transparency, they are curiously fond of secrets; wearing them like finely tailored coats, too heavy in the summer heat, yet impossible to shed for fear of feeling exposed. To stand bare and firmly in the light seems a kind of death, so they build little fortresses for a sense of control, however momentary - an illusion of safety, as though a hidden truth might preserve them from judgement or loss. The irony lingers in the air like perfume: what they fear most - the gaze seeing them whole - is the very thing that would save them. Only in the fragile risk of transparency could they hope to touch something like inner peace. People cling to their secrets not out of malice, but from the quiet dread of accountability. To keep something hidden is to escape the mirror, to delay the moment when truth demands its due. They tell themselves it is about privacy, discretion, even dignity - but beneath it all is the fear of being measured, of having to answer for...