Birthday Thoughts
There's always something new and exciting coming up, isn't there? Whether it turns out wonderful or dreadful is anybody's guess. When you get to a certain age, which is probably different for each of us, if at all, a sense of ennui comes in as fast as you could book your next trip, or buy a puppy, or quit your job, or study for a new career; sooner or later you get to a point where nothing seems to fit, and in that realization, you stop looking for satisfaction externally - in jobs or creations or fitness or groups or politics or books or music; these are all just expressions, choices made daily because what else is there to do? At this stage, I have a polarizing sense of detached consideration about everything, including myself. Like, who cares? Not in a depressing way either. It's not a distinct feeling or psychological state; it's just an awareness that isn't invested in striving anymore, yet interested in being alive nonetheless. I do stuff and things to fil...