Holding Space

4am again,

Attempting to explain to myself what the silence is saying... 

Energy streams through every pore, and I can feel the Field, almost tangibly - It seems like the torus is larger than it was, or at least I sense it more. It once felt like an aura about a foot around my body, yet now an infinite awareness that needs grounding. If not, it will just keep flying outward and forging inward with no real result, nothing 'useful' to gain except a momentum into and out of nothingness and all. 

But, the expectation of usefulness is an old paradigm based on lack. Like, what's the point of doing anything unless it produces something worthy of knowing or creating? And then, what to do with that knowledge or creation? A continuous loop of doing/getting/using/discarding on the path to somewhere else... It's a disease. The narcissists of world dominance have convinced most of us that unnecessary labour towards unlimited growth is a thing. I stopped trying to convince myself that there's a reason for it. It just is. It just was.

There's a claircognizance now, through every conversation and every breeze, through every dog's sigh and every cat's side eye... I can sit and 'do nothing' with a divination requiring no tools. Everything is an instrument that plays truths and falsehoods with the same intensity - Discernment is an underrated ability, especially when one person's truth is another person's falsehood. It might've been overwhelming if this had happened any time before now; if I had shown what I've always known, I would've been more ridiculed than I was.

I don't care now though, and ironically, it reveals how much I've always cared. I was affected too deeply by the misunderstandings of others - if only I could use the right words or paint the scene better, maybe then it would be understood. Yet, each soul has its own path to take, to get with the same source; it's no one else's business what other paths look like. Except, I suppose, when paths cross. This world is a confusion of crossing pathways. I stay in my lane because I know where it goes.

I've managed to retain my own truth without needing agreement or validation - Someone can disagree with me... over there; I'm not going to argue about it. People need to convince others of their beliefs because they don't actually have faith in their own convictions; or, they need others to believe the same thing in order to gain trust - That kind of trust is often used in not so trustworthy ways.

So, silence takes precedence; the subtle and not-so-subtle changes in energy, the synchronicities, the clarity of the game... Holding space is needed more than ever because it is the game board - It's the field in which everything unfolds. And it's interesting to see what happens when there's nothing doing.