New Becomings

 Spring is a few days away. It feels different now that restrictions are being lifted after 2 years of being in pandemic limbo, here anyway. On the other side of the world, war is raging like a historical horror busting back into our consciousness and slashing our collective sanity - though wars have always raged, I mistakenly thought it was mostly contained to desert oil sands and religious sects. After finding some solace in my geographical location, personal brand of spiritual awareness, and secular understanding, I thought I had become less concerned with others and their issues - content just to live in my little bubble of bliss. But, discontent has swept across the world and my psyche is not immune, people are now just angry and weird, and it affects me to the point of having to gain back some sense of control.  There's nothing I can do about pandemics and wars - I'm so tired of 'solutions' being tossed around like everyone's an expert on everything. Like, if ...

  Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next  ~Gilda Radner When someone makes a statement about something, it doesn't mean it is at the exclusion of other things. It's a point. One point in the myriad of points that make up our collective knowledge base. When people debate a subject, it's one subject. That subject may become moot or blended in to another subject for further debate. When I say something it is because it is meaningful to me at the time - yet time marches on, I may change my mind or not, but that statement becomes a thing of the past. If a past statement has any relevance to now, it may be used again, perhaps using different words to clarify or update, but again, time marches on, and it may become irrelevant. When people ask questions, the answers come in different forms depending on who is answering. We understand that 2+2=4, no need to discuss the ramifications...

If the truth can be told so as to be understood, it will be believed. ~Terence McKenna If someone had told me that in my later adulthood I would be witnessing a separation of realities, I wouldn't have believed it, but here we are. The internet has created factions of stern believers in all sorts of ideas and ideologies, that once taken hold are difficult to diffuse. Those who have not spent time understanding their own mind/consciousness are subject to conditioning. Understanding the mind is a life-long process because it is more than what we could possibly write down or comprehend in one sitting or even in one lifetime. We cannot fully understand individual consciousness by surface dwelling with spiritual tools of the day or reading books or taking mind-altering drugs or meditating in silence... Realizing and proactively using mind/consciousness means a difficult discovery of looking at our own behaviour, its cause/effect, and self-awareness through the insight that there are ma...

Conversations and debates with people who think differently than you is difficult, especially online where tone and expression are absent. I find it important to have these conversations nonetheless because many of us live in echo-chambers and socialize with mirrors. When people live in bubbles, they can't see clearly what's outside of it, and end up believing what they see and hear is an overwhelming societal majority, when really, it's not - it's just a majority in that particular social bubble. Most people I know who are aware of this simply don't engage with those living in obvious bubbles - the problem with that is people get entrenched in the opinions of their bubble, and once people are entrenched they feel the need to enlarge that bubble, trying to convince everyone outside of it that what they think is Truth. Believing you are in sole possession of Truth is dangerous, and even more so when surrounded by those who believe the same way. Exactly one year ago, ...

  Paradigm Shift: an important change that happens when the usual way of thinking about or doing something is replaced by a new and different way ." Rabbit Hole: used to refer to a bizarre, confusing, or nonsensical situation or environment, typically one from which it is difficult to extricate oneself. When I first watched my Grandmother read Tarot for family members, I was about 7 years old. I was fascinated by the possibility that these magical cards could tell people things that helped them see parts of their lives with some clarity. When I was a teenager, I started to feel depressed about the fact that my life would be a constant irritant of jobs I had to do until retirement at old age, and then death. That is when I decided to pick an art form to master, so at least the jobs would have some fun attached. I chose theatre arts. In University, the freedom from living at my parent's house and drug induced trips (sorry, Mum!) were more fascinating than acting classes and th...

I was running around before Christmas trying to get it all done, going to work each morning at 5am to try to kick-start my day, trying to exercise, trying to keep up our rickety old cabin to Airbnb standards, trying to keep up my own house to my own standards, trying to join causes and aid with my voice, trying to sell a product I love with a method people hate, trying to help my family with their variety of needs, trying to create, trying to relax... try try try... After New Years, I took the cabin off Airbnb, stopped cleaning my house, stopped cooking and baking, stopped exercising, was turned down as a local leader in a political organization, stopped selling the product I love, I started playing a simple video game every day for hours just to stop myself from getting up and doing laundry or dishes. I napped instead of relaxed... and then got sick.  I haven't been sick for about 4 years. We think it was Covid, though with a negative rapid test, I kept to myself and slept for day...

  Well, my latest effort at trying for something that I felt strongly enough about to make an actual effort did not work out. I've decided to drop any effort and rest for at least the winter - but, even that takes effort. And my brain tells me how lucky I am to be able to rest in the first place, so I shouldn't do it because many people don't have that luxury (kind of like "eat all the food on your plate because there are starving children in the world") . My brain also says that resting will come when I'm dead, so why bother now? There's a nag in me that thinks I should continually try to do stuff, create things, make a difference... whatever, nag. My previous efforts at trying for things I felt strongly about were at least cloaked in reasonable outcomes, lessons learned, and no regrets. It's possible that I haven't been trying very hard over the past few years, but I don't think so - I kept it together long enough, and it's not that ...