Ableism, Allies and Arrogance
We are works in progress, spiritually in essence, consciously perhaps, and whether we realize it or not. Most of us are trying our best to do the right thing, but many disagree on what the right thing is. Add to that the myriad issues going on in our world, and confusion turns to chaos. Then you have the self-righteous yelling at each other, drowning out calm and reason so that resolutions or solutions get buried in the fray. It's enough to make me want to live in a cave.
Oh yes, if we're interested in saving the planet, humanity and ourselves, we go to experts, read books and articles, seek out resources and explanations, listen to those whose lives are especially affected by whatever-it-is, pay money for consultants, show charts with conclusions to prove our points, share memes of quotes... yet, what's accomplished? Have we really CHANGED anything? Have we actually HELPED boost anybody up but our own egos?
I'm squinting into the ether here, searching for words...
We are all impaired to some degree and we are all capable to some degree. We are each on a spectrum of capabilities and impairment that individuals and society value or don't; and on that spectrum, a scale slides back and forth as we individually and collectively change our minds about what is valued and what a process of understanding looks like. Some of us have more visible conditions than others, some are pretending to be fine and do well, some are faking illness because their invisible condition is not considered a real illness - but the invisible conditions, abilities and disabilities, are still lived individually as ease or dis-ease...
It is in this sense that HOW we consider inclusion and equity is important. You can give everyone a paintbrush and call it fair, but some people don't even want to paint. Accepting people for their difference is much harder than accepting those who are similar - it's just a survival thing - I'm gonna hang with people like me - anyone not like us is an outsider, maybe even a threat. And still, most differences invisible to the eye are only apparent when disagreements ensue, because we're viewing others through our own lens, like they should think and feel as we do. How could you possibly think/feel different than me, we're the same, aren't we? No, we're not the same. This is not about obvious differences like physical disabilities, cultural contrasts, or race (that we still have issues with and are still trying to remedy in this day and age). This is about fundamental personality differences, mental/emotional differences, intellectual differences, socioeconomic differences, differences of how one was nurtured... so many!
No one expects anyone, except maybe close family and friends, to understand their personal plights. We can't simply read a few books on ableism and becoming allies so there's no longer discrimination and prejudice in the world, because there will still be arrogant a-holes who don't care - they would be sitting on the impairment side of the spectrum, by the way. What we need to understand first is that everyone is in their own personal hell and heaven, yet one person's heaven is another's hell. There's no prescription for growth and success, and some don't bother with growth and success as society deems fit either. Our paths are different and deserve to be respected. We are each navigating life as best we can, reaching for some semblance of empathy towards/from others. Everyone learns at their own pace, stages of growth are at different times for different people, some people are simply content with where they are, and that's fine too.
Anyway, what we CAN do as individuals (and the more of us who do this can create a more inclusive and equitable society) is use our unique strengths to uplift those who are weak in the same areas, no matter where it is on the capability and impairment spectrum. Baby steps. If you're good at something, share it with those are are not good at it, but only if they want to be good at it. If you're not good at something, reach out to those who are good at it if you want to get better at it. And if you don't want to do any of that, mind your own business. Even reformed a-holes can teach those who still arrogantly assume that any impairment of others is a matter of pulling up boot-straps.
No one likes unsolicited advice, but there's mine - though it was kinda solicited because you clicked on this blog link, a-ha!
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