New Becomings

  On this National Day of Truth and Reconciliation, in a further attempt to understand our Canadian history, buried and forgotten by brutality, I write from the only perspective I have - as a descendant of colonizers. Though I do not identify with the past actions of my lineage, I must begin the unsettling process of acknowledging my role in the continuation of systemic discrimination and deep social issues that I have perpetuated through my own ignorance. In school, I did not have the opportunity to learn about Canada's true Aboriginal history. At the time, history was taught through a colonialist lens and we all believed in the 'discovery' and 'pioneering' upon a 'new land' with the help and agreement of the Indigenous people. Later, as I saw the devastating reality of Indigenous people living on the streets of Vancouver and in northern communities, I still did not make the connection about their intergenerational trauma being prolonged and cruelly judged ...

We are works in progress, spiritually in essence, consciously perhaps, and whether we realize it or not. Most of us are trying our best to do the right thing, but many disagree on what the right thing is. Add to that the myriad issues going on in our world, and confusion turns to chaos. Then you have the self-righteous yelling at each other, drowning out calm and reason so that resolutions or solutions get buried in the fray. It's enough to make me want to live in a cave. Oh yes, if we're interested in saving the planet, humanity and ourselves, we go to experts, read books and articles, seek out resources and explanations, listen to those whose lives are especially affected by whatever-it-is, pay money for consultants, show charts with conclusions to prove our points, share memes of quotes... yet, what's accomplished? Have we really CHANGED anything? Have we actually HELPED boost anybody up but our own egos? I'm squinting into the ether here, searching for words... We a...

I feel a great sense of twilight recently. It's everywhere around me; twilight years in the elders, twilight childhoods in teenagers, and my own prime-of-life twilight. There's no fighting it, it just IS. It's a fusion of beauty and sadness; a fresh dose of reality that doesn't wake you up, but reveals a melancholic authenticity with which to spend time and energy as you face the days with grief and wondering. Heartache-Lite, releasing the years spent in a joyful search for meaning and purpose while tenderly announcing the arrival of "is that it?" Twilight has always been my favourite time of day - soft endings portending new beginnings, perhaps, or just endings, known into unknown. Giving birth in my 40th year spared over a decade of personal decision-making as I was too busy chasing toddlers and helping children grow up to consider what I was going to do for 'the rest of my life' afterwards. It's time to rest and reset. What now then? You would t...

  I don't have any degrees. I went to University for, as my dad called it, "Basket-Weaving", not exactly an intellectual pursuit - it was Theatre Arts, but whatever, I ditched after 1 year. Much later in life, after moving to property in the north, I took a certificate course in, as I called it, "How to Play in the Woods", which was a Rural Recreation program. In between those times, about 20 years, I played the guitar and wrote songs, spending hours of my days in practice (mostly because I was searching for meaning, broke, and there was nothing else to do... but I digress). I am pro-intellect and I am pro-community. I've always respected and appreciated those who've had the gumption, energy and brain power to spend much of their time learning to the point of accreditation, which takes many years. They're not learning to say, "look at me, look at me!", they're learning because they are interested in knowing more about something. They...

 “The really important kind of freedom involves attention, and awareness, and discipline, and effort, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them, over and over, in myriad petty little unsexy ways, every day.” ― David Foster Wallace   All the stuff and things we learn over time create who we have been, who we are, and who we become. As in any discipline, like say math... we must understand simple addition and subtraction before moving on to more complicated equations, and then onto complex descriptions and searching of life itself, in reasoning, problem-solving, critical thinking and creativity. Anything we come to understand should be practiced continually - it's not just an ah-ha moment of clarity that allows you to sit and know something forever after... there is always more to know and with practice it becomes easier to apply in daily life. When I understood stoicism and why patience is seen as a virtue, it became a difficult dai...

All families had a rough go during the pandemic. This year has also been tough as we slowly come out of the collective trauma, but made so much easier by the principals, teachers, aides and support staff of schools. My children could not wait to return to in-person learning as they navigated the pandemic through puberty, figuring out who they are, teen-angst, a confusing home-life and no socialization. We parents have a newfound admiration for the unsung heroes who have always been there for our children, yet we had no idea what it actually takes to hone skills, emotional growth and knowledge, it is a true gift. Our teachers not only had to quickly create online learning platforms with no previous experience but maintain their roles as tutors, coaches and educators at a distance. I watched my children come out of their shells this year, finally back inside the classroom. There was some difficulty as they introduced themselves to new schools and their peers with the amazing encouragemen...

 Spring is a few days away. It feels different now that restrictions are being lifted after 2 years of being in pandemic limbo, here anyway. On the other side of the world, war is raging like a historical horror busting back into our consciousness and slashing our collective sanity - though wars have always raged, I mistakenly thought it was mostly contained to desert oil sands and religious sects. After finding some solace in my geographical location, personal brand of spiritual awareness, and secular understanding, I thought I had become less concerned with others and their issues - content just to live in my little bubble of bliss. But, discontent has swept across the world and my psyche is not immune, people are now just angry and weird, and it affects me to the point of having to gain back some sense of control.  There's nothing I can do about pandemics and wars - I'm so tired of 'solutions' being tossed around like everyone's an expert on everything. Like, if ...