New Becomings

 No one gossips about other people's secret virtues ~  Bertrand Russel I find it mind-boggling at best and horrific at worst when people decide that gossiping and spreading rumours are some kind of relevant sharing of information - like they're doing people a favour, distributing negative details about others; often those details are simply made-up or misappropriated knowledge by scurrilous intent. In the age of social media, people will share suicide prevention campaigns and then appallingly denigrate people in their community; playing a lame adult game of broken-telephone, happily dispersing horrible specifics of things they know nothing about. Folks will tell others to 'grow up' without taking a good look inside themselves. It's pathetic and apathetic, it's habitually unconscious and consciously mischievous. These same people pretend to be self-aware, perhaps even think they're aware; but it's a facade easily exposed by watching and listening to what ...

  It's a trendy thing these days, not expressing anger, pretending it doesn't exist, breathing through the pangs of pain while it festers in the gut like some kind of indignant infant kept from being birthed. The thing is, anger is a gift and should be felt wholeheartedly, treated with the respect it deserves, because it's there for a reason. As soon as negativity arises it should be expressed, in full glory - not to say that it should be expressed in ways that can harm others or oneself, but it must be released. Once it is released, it can no longer take up space somewhere lurking in the mind and heart. If negativity is squashed or tamped down to appease other people (or to make oneself feel like a fully in-tune badass Bodhisattva who doesn't actually experience anything inferior to good), it buries itself deeper and hides in-wait for another opportunity to escape; usually in an ambush of something innocuous like stubbing a toe or spilling coffee - and then the day is...

  I decided to block a bunch of people from my social media; anyone, 'friends' or not, who came on my feed and showed themselves in offensive or perpetually supercilious commentary in community pages or the pages of my friends/family. I've done it before, sure, people who were directly negative to me; but this time, blocking the profiles of people who are generally nasty online is a whole new way of letting loose and reining in. A buoyancy in my demeanour was obvious afterwards, and I knew it was the right thing to do. In the past, I felt it was important to sometimes engage with these kinds of commentators; try to have a conversation, try to understand where they were coming from, try to share another point of view. There's no more trying, I'm done. Why bother? Outsiders have become alleged insiders, thinking they know me better than I do, through a very narrow lens at that. It seems certain people have become little targets, not sure why; social media is for shari...

  On this National Day of Truth and Reconciliation, in a further attempt to understand our Canadian history, buried and forgotten by brutality, I write from the only perspective I have - as a descendant of colonizers. Though I do not identify with the past actions of my lineage, I must begin the unsettling process of acknowledging my role in the continuation of systemic discrimination and deep social issues that I have perpetuated through my own ignorance. In school, I did not have the opportunity to learn about Canada's true Aboriginal history. At the time, history was taught through a colonialist lens and we all believed in the 'discovery' and 'pioneering' upon a 'new land' with the help and agreement of the Indigenous people. Later, as I saw the devastating reality of Indigenous people living on the streets of Vancouver and in northern communities, I still did not make the connection about their intergenerational trauma being prolonged and cruelly judged ...

We are works in progress, spiritually in essence, consciously perhaps, and whether we realize it or not. Most of us are trying our best to do the right thing, but many disagree on what the right thing is. Add to that the myriad issues going on in our world, and confusion turns to chaos. Then you have the self-righteous yelling at each other, drowning out calm and reason so that resolutions or solutions get buried in the fray. It's enough to make me want to live in a cave. Oh yes, if we're interested in saving the planet, humanity and ourselves, we go to experts, read books and articles, seek out resources and explanations, listen to those whose lives are especially affected by whatever-it-is, pay money for consultants, show charts with conclusions to prove our points, share memes of quotes... yet, what's accomplished? Have we really CHANGED anything? Have we actually HELPED boost anybody up but our own egos? I'm squinting into the ether here, searching for words... We a...

I feel a great sense of twilight recently. It's everywhere around me; twilight years in the elders, twilight childhoods in teenagers, and my own prime-of-life twilight. There's no fighting it, it just IS. It's a fusion of beauty and sadness; a fresh dose of reality that doesn't wake you up, but reveals a melancholic authenticity with which to spend time and energy as you face the days with grief and wondering. Heartache-Lite, releasing the years spent in a joyful search for meaning and purpose while tenderly announcing the arrival of "is that it?" Twilight has always been my favourite time of day - soft endings portending new beginnings, perhaps, or just endings, known into unknown. Giving birth in my 40th year spared over a decade of personal decision-making as I was too busy chasing toddlers and helping children grow up to consider what I was going to do for 'the rest of my life' afterwards. It's time to rest and reset. What now then? You would t...

  I don't have any degrees. I went to University for, as my dad called it, "Basket-Weaving", not exactly an intellectual pursuit - it was Theatre Arts, but whatever, I ditched after 1 year. Much later in life, after moving to property in the north, I took a certificate course in, as I called it, "How to Play in the Woods", which was a Rural Recreation program. In between those times, about 20 years, I played the guitar and wrote songs, spending hours of my days in practice (mostly because I was searching for meaning, broke, and there was nothing else to do... but I digress). I am pro-intellect and I am pro-community. I've always respected and appreciated those who've had the gumption, energy and brain power to spend much of their time learning to the point of accreditation, which takes many years. They're not learning to say, "look at me, look at me!", they're learning because they are interested in knowing more about something. They...