New Becomings

  “Life is unfair, but remember sometimes it is unfair in your favor.” — Peter Ustinov I wrote a letter to my grandmother when I was about 21, updating her on my trials and tribulations after moving to the other side of the country. In it, I'd expressed how, once leaving the basic comfort and safety of a stint at university, unfairness was everywhere. My grandmother had always given me advice, usually warnings about strangers with ill-intent and unkind situations that I was bound to run into. Growing up, I'd thought she was a bit overprotective in trying to explain the harsh realities of life, but in fact, she was not. I remember writing: "It's weird that life seems easier for people who cheat." I was in a poor state, making dumb decisions out of pure innocence, and people all around me were either swindled or swindlers themselves. There was a lot of advice from acquaintances about how to cheat the system, I took that advice once - but the nagging rem...

Many years ago, in a land most don't remember, was written the death certificate for Common Sense - it was said that Common Sense was survived by 4 stepbrothers: I Know My Rights, I Want My Rights, I Want It Now, and I’m A Victim. Common Sense has long passed, while the step brothers have taken over all corners of the mad world. But, Common Ground will never die; and it is with this foundational structure, the supreme being of human nature, that we may find the long lost descendants of Common Sense: Hope, Faith, Charity, and Love. These descendants furtively imbue the daily lives of every single person on this planet - and that is where we stash our innermost ideal; yearning for a better world. The problem with trying to create 'a better world' is that Common Sense's wicked stepsisters, Fear, Rage, Blame, and Despair, were unacknowledged in the Will and have been furious ever since. They are now extremely loud and obnoxious; so blaring that the faint calls for calm-in-s...

 No one gossips about other people's secret virtues ~  Bertrand Russel I find it mind-boggling at best and horrific at worst when people decide that gossiping and spreading rumours are some kind of relevant sharing of information - like they're doing people a favour, distributing negative details about others; often those details are simply made-up or misappropriated knowledge by scurrilous intent. In the age of social media, people will share suicide prevention campaigns and then appallingly denigrate people in their community; playing a lame adult game of broken-telephone, happily dispersing horrible specifics of things they know nothing about. Folks will tell others to 'grow up' without taking a good look inside themselves. It's pathetic and apathetic, it's habitually unconscious and consciously mischievous. These same people pretend to be self-aware, perhaps even think they're aware; but it's a facade easily exposed by watching and listening to what ...

  It's a trendy thing these days, not expressing anger, pretending it doesn't exist, breathing through the pangs of pain while it festers in the gut like some kind of indignant infant kept from being birthed. The thing is, anger is a gift and should be felt wholeheartedly, treated with the respect it deserves, because it's there for a reason. As soon as negativity arises it should be expressed, in full glory - not to say that it should be expressed in ways that can harm others or oneself, but it must be released. Once it is released, it can no longer take up space somewhere lurking in the mind and heart. If negativity is squashed or tamped down to appease other people (or to make oneself feel like a fully in-tune badass Bodhisattva who doesn't actually experience anything inferior to good), it buries itself deeper and hides in-wait for another opportunity to escape; usually in an ambush of something innocuous like stubbing a toe or spilling coffee - and then the day is...

  I decided to block a bunch of people from my social media; anyone, 'friends' or not, who came on my feed and showed themselves in offensive or perpetually supercilious commentary in community pages or the pages of my friends/family. I've done it before, sure, people who were directly negative to me; but this time, blocking the profiles of people who are generally nasty online is a whole new way of letting loose and reining in. A buoyancy in my demeanour was obvious afterwards, and I knew it was the right thing to do. In the past, I felt it was important to sometimes engage with these kinds of commentators; try to have a conversation, try to understand where they were coming from, try to share another point of view. There's no more trying, I'm done. Why bother? Outsiders have become alleged insiders, thinking they know me better than I do, through a very narrow lens at that. It seems certain people have become little targets, not sure why; social media is for shari...

  On this National Day of Truth and Reconciliation, in a further attempt to understand our Canadian history, buried and forgotten by brutality, I write from the only perspective I have - as a descendant of colonizers. Though I do not identify with the past actions of my lineage, I must begin the unsettling process of acknowledging my role in the continuation of systemic discrimination and deep social issues that I have perpetuated through my own ignorance. In school, I did not have the opportunity to learn about Canada's true Aboriginal history. At the time, history was taught through a colonialist lens and we all believed in the 'discovery' and 'pioneering' upon a 'new land' with the help and agreement of the Indigenous people. Later, as I saw the devastating reality of Indigenous people living on the streets of Vancouver and in northern communities, I still did not make the connection about their intergenerational trauma being prolonged and cruelly judged ...

We are works in progress, spiritually in essence, consciously perhaps, and whether we realize it or not. Most of us are trying our best to do the right thing, but many disagree on what the right thing is. Add to that the myriad issues going on in our world, and confusion turns to chaos. Then you have the self-righteous yelling at each other, drowning out calm and reason so that resolutions or solutions get buried in the fray. It's enough to make me want to live in a cave. Oh yes, if we're interested in saving the planet, humanity and ourselves, we go to experts, read books and articles, seek out resources and explanations, listen to those whose lives are especially affected by whatever-it-is, pay money for consultants, show charts with conclusions to prove our points, share memes of quotes... yet, what's accomplished? Have we really CHANGED anything? Have we actually HELPED boost anybody up but our own egos? I'm squinting into the ether here, searching for words... We a...