New Becomings

 “It has been my philosophy of life that difficulties vanish when faced boldly.” ― Isaac Asimov  Challenging others is commonplace, and in the best of light someone's mind may change, perhaps they were 'brought down to size' or 'put in their place', whether that is good or not is relative. Challenging ourselves is what leads to deep, inner change, where even the darkness has its benefits, and that kind of change is nothing but good. Many of us seem to be stuck in one-upmanship for some reason, probably ego, where our sense of self gets some sort of reward for being 'right', and not just for being right but by being more right. Why is that? What's the point of challenging others if we're not even challenging ourselves? All the time spent on trying to convince others to do this or be that is wasted unless we have the ability to overcome our own difficulties. If a drug addict starts sharing stories of overcoming hardship and someone says, ...

Nature’s first green is gold, Her hardest hue to hold. Her early leaf’s a flower; But only so an hour. Then leaf subsides to leaf. So Eden sank to grief, So dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay. ~ Robert Frost I've always loved this time of year, nearing the end of summer, closing in on autumn; especially in the north and especially with children anticipating a new school year. There is a bittersweet feeling about it, a calm excitement for the next season and a mellow melancholy as the days get shorter. This feeling is exceptionally potent now as my children have not attended school in a year and a half, in the midst of growing pains, and a pandemic that has robbed them of some rites of passage in these formative years. As I write this, I'm watching some crows stealing corn cobs from the back of our truck and I don't even feel like shooing them away - Hodor is occasionally barking at them, not even getting up as they're too high for him to reach, so they're...

 Boredom is desire seeking desires   ~ Leo Tolstoy Anyone with kids will encounter "I'm bored". I counter with, "What are you going to do about it?" or "So?". It doesn't make them feel less bored, usually shrugging and looking around like lost souls. It is important to recognize that boredom is a choice, and we are in charge of our choices. As parents of young children, we find creative ways to help them out with activities or chores. Older children require a nudge in the direction of understanding that it's beneficial to be self-sufficient in problem-solving, and boredom is a good place to start. Once teens are out in the world, they may start relying on friends or outside influences to help solve a sense of boredom, if they haven't learned to solve it themselves, leading to unsavoury or downright dangerous choices because they're looking for solutions from others. Parents try to occupy every minute with activities instead of truly all...

 "It is not only what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we are accountable." ~Moliere We're all adults here, let's consider accountability: Some people think I'm quite amenable, responsive to suggestions with a bit of persuasion, and easy-going in many environments, which is true a lot of the time. Others think I can be harsh, upholding my point of view to the point of cutting down or downright cutting people off, which is true some of the time. It depends on the situation and how a person comes across or impresses themselves upon me. It confounds the few people who knew me to be fully amenable, and then when I wasn't, could not understand why. Why would I just throw up boundaries when there had been none before? The boundaries are always there, I give warnings when they are crossed, but if there is no acknowledgement about it, there is no longer a relationship, and no looking back. It's taken a long time for this to happen, I used to be quite t...