Day 111 - Depending on Reliability

 To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved ~ George MacDonald

I used to be a flake. I never really thought of that as a disadvantage, in fact, I used to joyfully explain to people just how flakey I was! This is because there are some good qualities within it - like, spontaneity, being easy-going with the flowing, living in the now...

Let's look at that last one, "living in the now" - it's been propped up for a long time within many philosophies, creeds and new-age dogma. Being present fully is indeed a blessing, but is it such a blessing when you back-out of promises you made because you just don't feel like doing that thing a few days or weeks later? Why did you make a promise that you truly intended to keep at the time only to flake out when it comes calling? Because you actually weren't fully present when you made the promise.

Do not promise anything you will not back-up, ever. There are answers beyond yes and no. You are rightfully able to say 'maybe', 'perhaps' and 'we'll see how I feel at the time' when it comes to offering your time, abilities, or answering to someone when asked to do something.

Being reliable is a cornerstone of success and well-being, not only to yourself but to your family, friends and colleagues. The most successful people you know all share the quality of being dependable - and you will find that if you are not dependable, people will start moving away from trusting you with anything, including their friendship.

You will recognize when you flake-out of a promise to yourself or others that you feel bad about it, and then cover up that ill-feeling with justifications about your decision to be unreliable. Sometimes, you are just not able to do that thing you promised, circumstances pop-up leading to your genuine inability to go ahead - You know what you do then? You don't make another promise for later, you fix it right then. You find someone else who is willing to do that job or thing and you pay for it, or you get off your ass and do the thing even though you don't feel like it, or you make some sort of amends.

The beauty about being reliable is the sense of self-worth that arises when you've accomplished what you said you would. The more reliable you are, the better your ability to suss out future promises you may or may not make. You will be able to pause and truly be aware of what you are creating as credit now for a debit later.

It's very easy to be nice in the moment by deferring honesty and saying yes, you don't have to feel uncomfortable by saying 'no' or 'maybe' about something - but that's not being nice at all. That's being fake for a false sense of seeming responsible, and it will catch up eventually, tumbling down all the dishonesty you built up in yourself trying to be agreeable.

Being dependable is work, but it's the type of work that creates a solid foundation toward being a valuable friend, family member, and human being. It's the type of work that is an essential part of becoming who you aspire to be. Look to the reliable people and watch how they deal with things - it gets easier over time to be honest with yourself and others, and it will help you grow faster than any meditation or self-help philosophy ever will.


 


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