Day 149 - For the Love of Hate

 Hate has caused a lot of problems in the world, but it has not solved one yet ~Maya Angelou

I deal with hate in myself first and anyone else second. I have no problem with dislike and disagreement, but when it comes to hate, I'm too occupied creating a life I enjoy to waste time on people who are so angry they'd rather surround themselves with turmoil and puff themselves up in righteousness indignation. Not my circus, not my monkeys. Hate is a powerful emotion that needs to be addressed, yet not become consuming.

Over the past week I've had numerous hate calls and messages, mostly from Americans with profile pics of their flag, their guns, Trump, and quotes about loving Jesus. I won't even get into the irony there. These folks have every right to their ideas and opinions about things, they have a right to voice their dismay. And each call, where the person was yelling at me, I'd simply say, "I'm not having this argument with you," feeling strangely like I was their mother. I stopped answering the phone. As for the messages, delete/block, simple enough.

It's pretty much calmed down now, and I still have some nagging heaviness in my solar plexus, where the residue of anxiety is waning through breath-work and stillness. So, I thought I'd write out how to deal with the stress of targeted hate, whether it's from one or a bunch, cyber-bullying or in person.

First, do not engage. You end up giving them more ammunition by interacting. Remove yourself from their presence.

Second, if you were unable to hold yourself back and do engage, be kind and respectful. It takes a lot of control to figure out how to express your side of an issue without causing even more drama. Find a common ground to walk on, but that also takes energy so whatever, if you don't have the energy to do it, go back to number 1, stop engaging!

Third, if you have taken it upon yourself to continue engaging because you feel like it, surround yourself with love and use that - perhaps even apologizing, not for your action or inaction, but for the fact that somehow this person is now enraged because of something you did or didn't do. "I'm so sorry you feel unheard and dismissed..." You can also become adept at witty comebacks, troll the trolls with humour - it's a much better vibration than negativity.

Fourth, recognize that some people are just drama queens or mentally unstable, looking for attention to their cause and/or themselves as heroes in their own story lines. This way, simply through compassion for their plight, you won't engage because you understand it has nothing to do with you. It must be very difficult to live with hate as an ongoing habit. Empathy goes a long way.

Fifth, find where hate may be dwelling in your own heart and work on that. We're all mirrors for each other. 

Sixth - You know what? Everyone on the road to success has had to deal with haters - it's par for the course. High five on your success!!

Lastly, talk with those who support you. Having friends and family who lift you up helps a lot! Those haters will certainly stick with those of similar mindset as well, and end up infighting when there's no one else around to fight with LOL.

There you have it. Haters are gonna hate, you might have to deal with it. I'm here if anyone wants to talk about it.

 

 



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