Day 249 - How to Stop being your Own Worst Enemy

   “Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own thoughts unguarded. But once mastered, no one can help you as much...” 

~ The Dhammapada (a collection of Buddhist verses)

There is no worse enemy in your life than you, but don't worry, everyone is their own worst enemy, so even if you think you have enemies, those enemies are doing a horrible number on themselves as well, so you don't have to do anything about them (like spending energy trying to trip them up or something). Focus on getting out of your own way, the rest will fall into place. Enemy-schnenemy.

1. You Have No Enemies. Stop thinking that certain people are 'out to get you' or 'not there for you'. Who cares? If you keep depending on others, for good or bad, you're doomed to a life of anxious depression and non-risk-taking (boredom). Maybe there are people actually out to get you, so what? Are you gonna live your life looking over your shoulder all the time? In reality, you're probably no Mafia snitch or Gangland escapee, so stop pretending you're that important to anyone to have actual enemies. The people you think are your enemies are basically just people who don't like you for whatever reason, no big deal, not everyone is going to like you... move along.

2. Perfectionism. You know what stops you from doing the things you want to do? The idea that you have to be perfect at it, in fact, not even perfect but just good. If you're not gonna win, you're not even gonna try? Stop that. The only way to get somewhere else, a fresh and different place or headspace, is by taking new steps, which means you're likely going to fall a few times in the process. Do It Anyway. Try something you've never done before, even if it's just creating a new recipe or picking up a paintbrush. Take a chance already, get those neural pathways reset! Once your brain gets used to starting new things, it gets easier to start new things.

3. Embarrassment. This should be numbered 2.5 because another reason you don't even start doing the things you want to do is looking like a fool in front of others. You can definitely be a fool all alone and be okay with it, but if others see you as a fool? No way. Don't worry, others are too concerned about themselves to be bothered thinking about your tomfoolery. Become friends with your inner fool, you may start to realize that it is one of the wisest parts - considering that the fool chooses to have faith no matter what, jumping off the proverbial cliff towards new beginnings, regardless of what others think.  

4. Resenting the Past. Get over it. Go to therapy or whatever. The sooner you deal with the nagging negativity attached to the past, the better.

5. There are Too Many Things on your ToDo List. Pick one, do that. Pick another one, do that. Once you've completed a task, even if it's not the best, let it go, scratch it off, put another task on. If the task is something like 'lose weight' or 'clean the house', you can put other things on the list because probably most of those things will be in support of you losing weight or cleaning your house. If you stop doing something on your list, not having completed it, rip off the page and throw it out - don't let it sit there taunting you. Forget about it, write a new list and don't put that thing on it. Maybe you'll try another time, maybe not. Life if too short to worry about incomplete things. Life is too short to worry at all!

6. Procrastination. This is the obvious one and the hardest to deal with. This is why I don't make ToDo lists anymore. If there is something I want/need to get done, I do it immediately. It makes life so much simpler. It's taken me years to get on that train. "Oh, I should call the dentist to make an appointment" - so call the dentist, goddammit! When it comes to larger life goals, this is when you have to divvy it up into smaller, manageable pieces. You want to write a book? Get on the computer, make a new file called "BOOK", step one done. See what I'm saying?

Just start some postive stuff and see what happens. Just stop some negative stuff and see what happens. Don't listen to all the 'I can't becauses'. Excuses, you make them and they trip you up every time.




 

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