Using Anger to the Max

 It's a trendy thing these days, not expressing anger, pretending it doesn't exist, breathing through the pangs of pain while it festers in the gut like some kind of indignant infant kept from being birthed. The thing is, anger is a gift and should be felt wholeheartedly, treated with the respect it deserves, because it's there for a reason. As soon as negativity arises it should be expressed, in full glory - not to say that it should be expressed in ways that can harm others or oneself, but it must be released. Once it is released, it can no longer take up space somewhere lurking in the mind and heart. If negativity is squashed or tamped down to appease other people (or to make oneself feel like a fully in-tune badass Bodhisattva who doesn't actually experience anything inferior to good), it buries itself deeper and hides in-wait for another opportunity to escape; usually in an ambush of something innocuous like stubbing a toe or spilling coffee - and then the day is ruined, spent pouting and exclaiming as more and more situations occur to prove that life does indeed suck. When it rains, it pours, after getting up on the wrong side of the bed. And, if many bouts of anger are squashed down to hide true feelings, life becomes inauthentic; a series of circumstances, problems and issues that seem to come out of nowhere. Yet, they don't come from nowhere, they are unacknowledged energy coming back in your face to be recognized and accepted. I've found that even innocuous events, such as stubbing a toe, occur because my mind is caught up in blah-blah-blah and I'm not paying attention. 

How to express anger without screaming and yelling, or punching a wall, hurting others, or some other damaging direction? Write it out plainly and succinctly and share it if need be, cry in a bubble bath while asking what personal role has been played in it, rant/vent to a good friend or family member, go for a run or a swim or some other physical exercise... It might look different for different people, depending on disposition, but the point is to liberate it before it gets forgotten under covers of being 'nice', 'calm', 'pleasant' and other platitudes trying to persuade the provocation that it's just not welcome in the world. It should be welcomed, it should be looked at and analyzed and dissected to its essential source.

I would go so far to say that negativity, especially rage, is a powerful force of personal growth and development, more so than continually seeking positivity and enlightenment. The purpose of understanding anger, resentment, indignation et al, is to find the personal responsibility involved; once the source is revealed to be internal (it's always internal), any blame, initially directed outward at someone/something revealing the anger in the first place, is removed from the equation - and then it's just you and your raw energy needing to be felt and heard. That raw energy is the authentic power behind subjective motivation, individual objectives, a means to actualize dreams and goals; it is this power that paradoxically increases optimism, creativity and reasoning abilities, bettering life by fully releasing you from its grievous grip. 

So next time a roiling sense of anger arises, take care of it, pay it some attention as a petulant juvenile that only seeks understanding; don't hide it, bury it, or let other people tell you it's not good. It is a highly effective tool that teaches us how to be better people, more open, honest, and happier. Sometimes, all it takes is flick of sarcasm or wit to let it go; other times, it takes a deep dive into personality conflicts or overlooked emotional trauma from the past. Whatever the cause, the effect is where the ability to deal with it lies.