Expectations Great and Small

 "The success is not mine, the failure is not mine, but the two together make me" ~Great Expectations.

We are each the sum of myriad parts, clamouring for attention. There are the scars and triumphs of childhood imparting their wisdom to the young adult who in turn uses those experiences to make yet more mistakes or further achievements, and so on.

Once we hit middle age, you'd think that we'd be set up in some time-weary way to avoid major issues and enhance favourable effects. That's not how it goes unless we can separate our emotional reactions from our logical intuitions. People trigger people - and understanding those triggers is a mature way of coping with life as it presents itself.

It has taken a long time to stop expecting things from others, or life in general. I do not expect anyone else to be who I think they are, or act in a way suited to my ideals. I do not expect success simply because I work towards it. This in itself is an expectation, but it is of myself; I'm only accountable for who I am, not for who others think I am - Paradoxically of course, this enables a responsibility when it comes to the people and situations I find myself around.

Occasionally, I'll take stock and review whether or not I've actually been who I say I am. Yet, the expectations of others come into play and it's here that explanations fall short... because if you're not living up to other people's expectations of you, what are you doing? I'll tell you what happens when you try to live up to other people's expectations: you lose yourself - you lose yourself in external demands and desires and descriptions of who you should be.

But you know the worst culprit in all of this? Low self-esteem. Once self-esteem rears its powerful head, you are no longer attached to the strained voices, pleading sentiments, and sneering glances that seem to want to pull you back into the fiery hell-pockets of human interaction. It is no longer your concern, the expectations of others, and you are free to find yourself - you are now culpable for your own actions and reactions, you now only answer to your highest character. And whether or not anyone else gets it is irrelevant.

Coming from a place of confidence, it is easy to spot those who would try to trigger you into becoming less. Energy is traded and shared, willfully or ignorantly; and standing up for oneself, by a metaphysical osmosis, means standing up for everyone. The greatest expectation I have now is respecting myself, and by doing so, it may help others do the same.



 

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