New Becomings

 “It has been my philosophy of life that difficulties vanish when faced boldly.” ― Isaac Asimov  Challenging others is commonplace, and in the best of light someone's mind may change, perhaps they were 'brought down to size' or 'put in their place', whether that is good or not is relative. Challenging ourselves is what leads to deep, inner change, where even the darkness has its benefits, and that kind of change is nothing but good. Many of us seem to be stuck in one-upmanship for some reason, probably ego, where our sense of self gets some sort of reward for being 'right', and not just for being right but by being more right. Why is that? What's the point of challenging others if we're not even challenging ourselves? All the time spent on trying to convince others to do this or be that is wasted unless we have the ability to overcome our own difficulties. If a drug addict starts sharing stories of overcoming hardship and someone says, ...

Nature’s first green is gold, Her hardest hue to hold. Her early leaf’s a flower; But only so an hour. Then leaf subsides to leaf. So Eden sank to grief, So dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay. ~ Robert Frost I've always loved this time of year, nearing the end of summer, closing in on autumn; especially in the north and especially with children anticipating a new school year. There is a bittersweet feeling about it, a calm excitement for the next season and a mellow melancholy as the days get shorter. This feeling is exceptionally potent now as my children have not attended school in a year and a half, in the midst of growing pains, and a pandemic that has robbed them of some rites of passage in these formative years. As I write this, I'm watching some crows stealing corn cobs from the back of our truck and I don't even feel like shooing them away - Hodor is occasionally barking at them, not even getting up as they're too high for him to reach, so they're...

 Boredom is desire seeking desires   ~ Leo Tolstoy Anyone with kids will encounter "I'm bored". I counter with, "What are you going to do about it?" or "So?". It doesn't make them feel less bored, usually shrugging and looking around like lost souls. It is important to recognize that boredom is a choice, and we are in charge of our choices. As parents of young children, we find creative ways to help them out with activities or chores. Older children require a nudge in the direction of understanding that it's beneficial to be self-sufficient in problem-solving, and boredom is a good place to start. Once teens are out in the world, they may start relying on friends or outside influences to help solve a sense of boredom, if they haven't learned to solve it themselves, leading to unsavoury or downright dangerous choices because they're looking for solutions from others. Parents try to occupy every minute with activities instead of truly all...

 "It is not only what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we are accountable." ~Moliere We're all adults here, let's consider accountability: Some people think I'm quite amenable, responsive to suggestions with a bit of persuasion, and easy-going in many environments, which is true a lot of the time. Others think I can be harsh, upholding my point of view to the point of cutting down or downright cutting people off, which is true some of the time. It depends on the situation and how a person comes across or impresses themselves upon me. It confounds the few people who knew me to be fully amenable, and then when I wasn't, could not understand why. Why would I just throw up boundaries when there had been none before? The boundaries are always there, I give warnings when they are crossed, but if there is no acknowledgement about it, there is no longer a relationship, and no looking back. It's taken a long time for this to happen, I used to be quite t...

Never let go of - through escape from misery - a good opportunity to grow ~ Lester Levenson When we use words to describe ideas and understandings, they are merely pointers to more inexplicable feelings or awareness. We use language to try to communicate and clarify things to others or ourselves, which is why I love writing, but the words alone cannot bring someone else to full understanding - Like the game Broken Telephone, each of us has our own individualistic perception of what is being said. The filter of our experiences and attitudes can taint the intention of the relayed understanding. I can say 'don't worry, be happy' (spending time worrying ends up eating away happiness), and someone will come up with all the worrisome things in the world to convince me that true, long-term happiness is a pipe dream. So 'worry, be unhappy' then - it doesn't matter to me. Every one of us is responsible for carving our own paths towards fulfillment, and though some might ...

 “Your profession is not what brings home your weekly paycheck, your profession is what you're put here on earth to do, with such passion and such intensity that it becomes spiritual in calling.”   ~Vincent van Gogh  I still don't know what my true calling is, rather, what it is called - but I'm calling it all the time, and it seems to be working in that I'm now satisfied with what I 'do', who I 'am' and how I 'live'. This satisfaction is not an end result, it's a continual process that keeps me aiming as the goal posts move with the rhythm of life. Still, I was not living a wholly gratifying life until recently. There was always something seemingly missing; the only thing missing was acceptance and acknowledgement. It takes time, I guess. Well, it did for me anyway. Whatever my calling is, it contains writing and communicating ideas, expressing balance toward a life well-lived, with an appetite for growth and understanding as I try to hel...

 Hate has caused a lot of problems in the world, but it has not solved one yet ~Maya Angelou I deal with hate in myself first and anyone else second. I have no problem with dislike and disagreement, but when it comes to hate, I'm too occupied creating a life I enjoy to waste time on people who are so angry they'd rather surround themselves with turmoil and puff themselves up in righteousness indignation. Not my circus, not my monkeys. Hate is a powerful emotion that needs to be addressed, yet not become consuming. Over the past week I've had numerous hate calls and messages, mostly from Americans with profile pics of their flag, their guns, Trump, and quotes about loving Jesus. I won't even get into the irony there. These folks have every right to their ideas and opinions about things, they have a right to voice their dismay. And each call, where the person was yelling at me, I'd simply say, "I'm not having this argument with you," feeling strangely li...